What do you get asked most often?

What do you get asked often? This was a question posed by one of my friends on a recent blog. Ironically, I was composing a blog in my mind (after a draining week at work) that I thought about entitling “a day in the life of a vet tech (or something unoriginal like that). Instead, I think I’ll address his question, but with a different twist:

“What comment is made to you often?”….

“Oh you get to work with animals; that must be so much fun.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard this comment, I could open my own clinic. It never ceases to amaze me the idealistic vision that people have of my profession. And then I have to listen to them say how they always wanted to do what I do. Give me a break….

I’ve worked in emergency medicine for 5 years; Recently, I switched to specialty practice (surgery and internal medicine). So the animals I see are either very sick, or are in need of surgery, and will consequently nursing care. This is not “fun;” it does not involve playing with my patients while whiling the day away, as many people would believe. It involves seeing animals in pain, and in some cases, having to inflict it to help make a patient better. It involves comforting distraught caretakers, remembering being one myself at various times in my fur children’s lives. It involves knowing in many cases, that a precious little life is in your hands. Sometimes it involves losing that precious life, in spite of your best efforts. And it involves walking that fine line between caring too much and becoming too jaded.

I am a healer. I’ve known that from an early age, whether it is listening to someone’s problems or providing comfort, sympathy and empathy- even at my own emotional expense. I’ve accepted it and embraced it as one of my Life’s paths. And I’ve always felt a connection with animals, much more so than with people. I changed careers to be in this field because of my love of healing, of comforting, of offering care, hope, sympathy and empathy; and of course my love of animals. Yet lately I’ve been questioning whether or not I want to/should stay in this field.

I think I’m jaded by what I see or have seen as objectivity; when the patient is no longer a living, breathing thing, but “a case.” I’m sure it happens in human medicine, although I think it is worse in veterinary medicine, because the animals cannot speak for themselves. I recently cared for a cat, (”Toro”) who came in to see our internist. The cat had not been eating for several weeks, so we performed an ultrasound. I still remember the trusting way that Toro looked into my eyes during the procedure as I held him and tried to reassure him. At that moment we bonded, and I felt a connection to him that I cannot describe. I felt like I was looking into one of the most beautiful souls, and I felt an understanding that I cannot describe…

The ultrasound revealed a need for exploratory surgery. The next day, the surgeon took over the case and operated. It was not good; pancreatitis and an abnormal liver (hepatic lipidosis secondary to pancreatitis). They put in a J-tube for nutrition-to bypass the stomach, and a feeding tube for Toro’s subsequent recovery. The next day, he took a turn for the worse. And all I can remember is 2 doctors going back and forth about what tests to send out, while in the meantime this poor cat is trying to die….. “We need to draw blood for a CBC/Chem;” I’d draw it, only to hear, “I think we need to do in-house electrolytes so we can check his potassium”….so I’d have to draw blood again; never mind that we were already putting this poor animal through too much already. I wanted to ask these doctors, when did this animal stop being a patient, when did he stop being a sentient being; when he start being “a case?” And why did that even have to happen?

Toro’s owner’s came back visit him and elected humane euthanasia; the best and most caring decision for all involved. Yet I can’t help but wonder if we could have spared him some of his suffering by better planning, better medicine, and a better vision of the entire situation….

“Oh, you get to work with animals, that must be so much fun.” While my work does have its rewards, it also bears a heavy price. I do not regret what I do, and I try not to allow myself to be too jaded. All I ask is that people try to understand my field a little more realistically.

And for those who tell me, “I couldn’t do what you do-I love animals too much.” My response is: “No, you don’t love animals enough!”

Ellen